Wonderful
by Child of Insanity
Summary: {SLASH} For Will, the call of the sea wars with his promise of marriage to Elizabeth. Elizabeth realises not only this, but the fact that it is not just the sea that calls to Will, and gives him a push on his way. JW, very slight WE
1. Sometimes one push is all that it takes

**Wonderful**  
  
**Chapter One: Sometimes one push is all that it takes...**  
  


  


  
"Can you believe it, Will," Elizabeth said breathlessly, leaning back against the walls of the battlements, head resting beside Will's leg. "In less than a week we will be married."  
  
"Mmhmm..."Will murmured noncommittally, his attention not on his fiance, but rather on the endless blue ocean that stretched out before him, as far as he could see. If tried hard enough, he could almost feel the waves rolling beneath him, as if he were back on the Interceptor, or the Black Pearl, rather than the unmoving wall.  
  
"Isn't it wonderful?" Elizabeth persisted, the joy in her voice sounding almost strained, and Will wondered if she was trying to ignore his lack of interest, or if she had even noticed it at all.  
  
"Yes," Will replied, a touch sadly. "Wonderful."  
  
But it wasn't, because if he was honest with himself – something which he had been avoiding doing lately - he knew that his marriage to Elizabeth would be far from wonderful. Perhaps if they had been having this discussion a few months ago, Will would have been more enthusiastic. If only he had asked for Elizabeth's hand, and had been granted it, months ago, before Will had felt the call of the sea, before he had learnt of the pirate blood that flowed in his veins. Before he met Jack Sparrow.  
  
He felt a hand on his knee, and looked down to see Elizabeth gazing up at him, concern evident in her eyes. "Will, is something the matter?"  
  
He shook his head. No, nothing was wrong, nothing. He would marry Elizabeth, be a proper husband for her, and forget all about the sea, and the pirate who hadn't asked for him to go with him when he left. He would forget, and he would marry her, and they would be *happy.*  
  
He hated this feeling, hated lying to Elizabeth. He loved her, and he didn't want to hurt her, never wanted to hurt her, but he didn't know if could keep himself from doing so, if they went through with the marriage, and all he could think about was the sea. He almost wished that Jack had never shown himself in Port Royal, because if he hadn't, he would never have known about his pirate heritage, and would not be longing for the sea, over his marriage to Elizabeth. But if Jack had never shown himself in Port Royal, he would never have found the courage, or the need, to tell Elizabeth how he felt about her, and there would be no marriage between them. It was a vicious circle, and one that he wanted out of.  
  
"Will," Elizabeth said again with a barely noticeable sigh, the hand on his knee pressing down harder, as if she had noticed his attention wandering, and wanted to draw it back. "you miss Jack don't you?" She didn't give him a chance to answer, and he wondered if she was simply telling him, rather than asking. "I do too. He was a good man, despite his...choice in careers, and his love of rum." She sighed again. "You do know that I love you, and that I want you to be happy?"  
  
He nodded. Of course she knew that she loved him - how could he not, when he thought about it almost constantly, and how much his inner betrayal would hurt her if she ever found out. "And I you."  
  
There was something in her eyes, determination mixed with pain, that made him want to comfort her, but all he could do was lay his hand on top of hers, and squeeze it gently.  
  
"Good." She said, and standing up, kissed him. It was a demanding kiss, an uncommon occurrence, and Will fancied that he could taste the salty tang of the ocean on her lips. When she pulled back, he realised that he had tasted tears.  
  
"Elizabeth?" he asked, worried.  
  
Placing a hand on his chest, she smiled, and he was reminded for a moment of the young girl he had first met, the one who had taken care of him on the journey to Port Royal, after his life had burnt away in front of his eyes. "Will, it may take you a while, but you *will* realise that what I'm about to do, needs to be done. Just remember that Jack...that Jack feels the same way that you do - it's in his eyes, and to come back and visit me. And remember that I love you, always."  
  
Before he had a chance to wonder what she meant, she had placed her other hand on his chest, and shoved him hard, sending him falling backwards off the battlements, and into the ice cold ocean that he had been thinking about just moments before.  
  
~*~  
  
It was a cold, and very wet, Will Turner, that was hauled on board of a ship, and dumped unceremoniously at the feet of Anamaria, coughing and spluttering in an entirely undignified matter.  
  
"Well, if it isn't young Will Turner," Anamaria said with a teasing smile. "I'd realised that there was a chance we might run into you around here, but never thought to find you like this. What happened to you?"  
  
"I was pushed off the battlements," Will stood up, scowling to himself. "by Elizabeth. Apparently her way of breaking off our engagement."  
  
The look Anamaria gave him at that was half-sympathetic, half-amused. "Really?" She said, raising an eyebrow. "Why did she do that?"  
  
He scowled again. "She said it was the right thing to do, and that I would realise that she was right in time. Said something about Jack too."  
  
"She did?" Anamaria asked, her smile widening. "Smart girl." She looked him up and down, shaking her head at the state of him. "You're dripping all over my ship, Will. We'll have to get you a change of clothes, then see about setting sail for Tortuga, and dear Captain Jack. I'm sure he'd love to hear your tale."  
  
"How can you be sure that he'll be in Tortuga?" Will asked. In the time that he had known Jack, he had come to realise that whilst the pirate did appreciate Tortuga, he much preferred the open seas, and the freedom that it offered.  
  
Anamaria shrugged easily. "He ran into a bit of trouble with the Royal Navy, and's stuck there until the Black Pearl's right to sail again. He's taking great advantage of Tortuga's 'attractions' while he's there."  
  
Will didn't bother to ask what attractions Jack was taking advantage of - he could easily guess, and judging by the feeling that just thinking about it brought, he didn't want to have to hear it from Anamaria's lips as well.  
  
~*~  
  
Tortuga was just as Will remembered it - bad smelling, full of unsavoury individuals, and not somewhere that he particularly wanted to be. As they headed towards the tavern Jack had taken him to when they were in Tortuga, they passed a group of heavily made up women, one of whom Will recognized as Giselle, one of the woman who had slapped Jack. He vaguely wondered whether Jack was spending most of his time with her, and was surprised at the hurt that that thought caused him.  
  
The tavern was exactly the same as well, and as he scanned the crowded room looking for Jack, he wondered if things in Tortuga ever changed.  
  
He found Jack in a corner, a bottle of rum in one hand, one of the heavily painted women in the other. Even he looked the same, and Will couldn't suppress the feeling of nervous excitement that he got when his eyes came to rest on the man. But despite that, he turned to Anamaria, trying to push his way back out of the tavern as he talked to her.   
  
"He looks...busy." He said in an almost pleading tone, wanting to get away from the sight of Jack pulling the woman down onto his lap, and kissing her heavily. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut.  
  
Anamaria laughed, and took hold of his wrist, leading him towards the corner Jack was sitting in. "I'm sure he'll manage to pull himself away for you."  
  
Will shook his head, but allowed himself to be led anyway. It certainly didn't look like Jack would want to be pulled away, but he suspected that Anamaria wouldn't care about that, and would take great delight in ruining Jack's fun anyway. He just hoped that Jack didn't lay the blame on him for a ruined evening.  
  
"Well, well, well," Anamaria said, folding her hands across her chest as she came to a stop in front of Jack. "If it isn't Jack Sparrow."  
  
"Tha's Cap'n Jack Sparrow." He told her, his words slurring and a chastising finger pointing vaguely in her direction. "What d'you want?"  
  
"Someone's here to see you, *Captain* Jack Sparrow." She replied with a laugh, not in the least insulted by his abrupt manner. "Didn't think you'd mind leaving your lady friend there, to catch up with old friends."  
  
"I don't bloody well think so." Jack said, the slur less apparent in his words. Will wondered if he was being ignored by the pirate, or if Jack just hadn't noticed him. Maybe he'd forgotten who he was, it had been several months since he'd last seen him. Or maybe he simply wanted him to go away.  
  
With a sigh, that he was sure Jack must have heard, Will turned to leave, only to once again be stopped by Anamaria. "I don't think so, Will." She muttered under her breath, then pushed him in front of her, so that unless Jack had suddenly gone blind, he would be sure to see him, and could not pretend that he hadn't.  
  
Jack breathed in heavily, as Will smiled crookedly, and almost shyly, at him, then gave the woman on his lap a none-to-gentle push, sending her to the floor beside him. "Right, luv, that'll be all for t'night." He said, looking at Will in a way that was making the young blacksmith feel decidedly uncomfortable. "Got some old friends to catch up with."  
  
"But..." The woman protested, obviously unhappy by the way that Jack had dismissed her. The pirate lazily waved her off with a flick of his hand, and she glared at Will and Anamaria, before heading off to find a more appreciative customer for the night.  
  
"Will," he said slowly, waving for he and Anamaria to take a seat. "what brings you to fine Tortuga? And where is dear Elizabeth?" The last was said with no small amount of relish, as if Jack were glad that Elizabeth was not there, and would be happy for it to remain that way.  
  
Anamaria laughed at that, clapping a hand over her mouth at the glare that Will sent her way, taking it off once she had her laughter under control, and grinning at Jack. "Elizabeth went and pushed Will off the battlements."  
  
Jack blinked kohl-ringed eyes, looking extremely bemused. "She what?"  
  
Will scowled. He realised that he had been doing that a lot lately, but couldn't help but feel justified. His fiance had pushed him into the ocean, after all. "She pushed me off the battlements, said it needed to be done."  
  
Jack made a choked sound, that sounded far too much like poorly hidden laughter for Will's liking, and lifted the rum he was holding to Will in an imitation of a toast. "Never thought'd last," he said, shaking his head in exaggerated sympathy. "girl's far too proper to make anyone a good wife, unless they happen to have a stick shoved up their behind like ol' Norrington."   
  
He stood, fairly unsteadily, and slun an arm around Will's shoulder, obviously taking great care not to spil any of his precious rum. "Don't worry, whelp," he said loudly. "you'll find yourself another girl - a better one at that - an' live happily ever after. Have lotsa chidlren too while your at it. Matter of fact, I know a pretty lady you might take a liking to. What say you to that?"  
  
Will couldn't supress the smile that arose at those words, the first real one since his fiance had pushed him into the sea, but he shook his head anyway. "No, Jack," he replied, voice a lot quiter than Jack's had been. "I'll be fine."  
  
The truth was, that he couldn't help but wonder what Elizabeth had meant when she had told him that Jack felt the same way he did, and it didn't help much that he wasn't sure how he felt at that moment. He wasn't about to go chasing after one of Jack's "pretty ladies" no matter how good she looked, until he had worked his feelings out, and what exactly it was that Elizabeth saw in Jack's eyes.  
  
~  
  
Next chapter shall be posted shortly, but in the mean time ... review!  
  
Author's note: There's a set of scenarios up on the Port of Call site () for a Pirates of the Caribbean fuh-q-fest. I'm just borrowing a couple  
  
Scenarios used are:   
  
3. Elizabeth pushes Will off the battlements to follow Jack at the end of the movie.  
  
4. Will feels the call of the sea more than he feels the call of marriage to Elizabeth. 


	2. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Chapter Two: Absence makes the heart grow fonder  
  
Anamaria excused herself not long after they arrived in the tavern, saying that she needed to check on her crew and make sure they were ëbehaving.' Will couldn't decide whether he should be grateful or not, having been left alone to catch up with Jack. The pirate himself seemed in an odd mood, regaling Will with tales of his travels since leaving Port Royal one minute, the next staring over Will's shoulder at a spot on the tavern wall, and - much to Will's amazement - barely touching his rum. After Jack's offer to introduce him to a pretty lady, Will had carefully steered the conversation away from the subject of Elizabeth, and what he would do now that he was without her. He wondered if that was the reason for Jack's strange mood, but decided against it - he was quite sure that the pirate would have no problems with him turning down his offer, no matter what his mood.  
  
Unable to help himself, Will yawned - in the middle of one of Jack's tales - and blushed furiously, embarrassed at interrupting Jack. "Sorry." he mumbled, hoping that Jack wouldn't take offense and think that he wasn't interested. He was, but he hadn't slept properly since he'd left Port Royal, and as a result was extremely tired.  
  
Jack shrugged - a lazy, carefree, seductive shrug - and Will started, wondering why he had suddenly started seeing Jack's shrugs as carefree.  
  
"'S alright, whelp, it's getting late now, anyway, I don't mind." he stated, nodding decisvely as if to emphasize his words, and stood, stretching his arms up above his head. Will did *not* find that seductive. Not at all. "Think I might head off to sleep myself, now."  
  
"Oh." Will said hesitantly, realising suddenly that he had no idea of where he was going to sleep. Perhaps Anamaria would let him spend the night on her ship. "I suppose I'll see you later then?"  
  
Jack must have noticed Will's hesitation, because he took hold of Will's wrist, and pulled him up. "You got somewhere to stay?" He asked. When Will shook his head, he grinned widely, showing teeth that weren't in what one would call perfect condition. "Well you can stay with me." He said, the statement more and order than anything else. "I've got a room here, and I'm not about to let you out on the streets of Tortuga until you're a bit more...experienced...in the ways of the pirate life."  
  
Will nodded, not sure whether to be inuslted, and deciding just to go along with it. "Thanks"  
  
~*~  
  
"Jack." Will said tiredly, ignoring the mutter of ëthat's Captain Jack', and rubbing at his eyes in frustration. "There's only one bed."  
  
"So?" Jack asked, turning kohl-ringed eyes on Will in an expression of confusion. "It's a big bed. We'll fit. Or would you prefer to try your luck on the streets?"  
  
"No." Will replied, too tired to argue with Jack's logic, and with a slowness that bored on paranoia, he removed all of his clothing except for his pants, which he couldn't bring himself to remove with another person in the room. "One bed is fine."  
  
"That's good then." Jack replied, following Will's example, but far more quickly, and sliding into the bed. He made himself comfortable, then looked at Will, who was standing at the edge of the bed nervously, and swore lightly in exasperation. "Get in, Will," he said, sounding tired himself. "I'm not going to bite you."  
  
Will blushed again, this time at the thought of Jack biting him. He was beginning to get a fair idea of what Elizabeth had meant when she'd told him that what she was doing was the right thing. Not that he particularly agreed with her, but he understood that things between the two of them would not have worked out, if the feelings that Jack was bringing up in him all of a sudden were any indication.  
  
As he slipped into the bed beside Jack, making sure to keep strictly to his side to avoid any accidental touches, he wondered if the feelings really were all that sudden, or if they had simply being growing since he had met Jack, and it had taken the time he'd spent apart, with Elizabeth, for him to realise them. Absence makes the heart grow fonder after all.  
  
It didn't take Will long to realise that, no matter how tired he thought he had been, now that he was lying next to Jack, he was wide awake and extremely uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in a ëWhat'll happen if I accidently end up touching Jack while I'm asleep' way. He was, after all, used to either sleeping alone, where it didn't matter what he did, or with Elizabeth, who had no objections to waking up and finding him resting against her. Having Jack beside him simply led for a firm resolution *not* to fall asleep, and in an attempt to stay awake, he began to count the cracks in the wooden ceiling above him. In hindsight, counting the cracks in the ceiling was probably not his brightest idea, because it only ushered him into sleep faster, and by the time he woke the next morning he was firmly convinced that the roof had fallen in over night and that the cracks were now all over his body, brought about by many tiny wooden splinters. He was so convinced, that he simply lay staring at the ceiling for several minutes after waking, making sure that it wasn't so. As a result he didn't notice his close proximity to Jack, until said pirate opened his own eyes and slowly ran his fingers down Will's chest. That brought him crashing back to reality with a start.  
  
"Jack!" Will managed to gasp out, in between the shock of waking up curled up beside the one and only Captain Jack Sparrow, and the pleasant tingling sensation caused by that very same Captain Jack Sparrow running his fingers lazily over his chest.  
  
"William." Jack replied, staring at Will through half-lidded eyes, obviously not bothered by Will's position, in fact, if the half-smile on his face was any indication, he was enjoying it. "'Morning."  
  
"Uh." Will replied incoherently, cursing his inability to form a full sentence after just waking up. Jack certainly wasn't making it any easier, either, his touch causing a trail of hot fire to race over Will's skin. He wanted him to stop, but at the same time didn't, and as he couldn't quite seem to make up his mind about option he preferred, he simply uttered a quiet ëNo.'  
  
"No?" Jack asked, fingers pausing in their movement on Will's chest, and resting lightly there. "No what? No morning? Because I assure you, dear William, that it is most certainly morning. Just take a look at that wretched sun streaming through the window."  
  
"Don't." Will said this time, and sat up, moving away from Jack and swinging his feet over the edge of the bed so that he didn't have to face the pirate.  
  
"Oh," Jack said from behind him, his tone relating something that Will couldn't quite make out. Was it annoyance? Dissapointment? "That ëno.' I see."  
  
Will bent his head forward, letting his hair fall in front of his eyes so that he couldn't see anything else, because, if he couldn't see anything else, he could tell himself that there was nothing there. That Jack wasn't there. That he wasn't betraying Elizabeth through what he was feeling, because even if Elizabeth had already made it quite clear that he had her blessings to go to Jack, he still loved her and didn't want to betray her, or to hurt her.  
  
"Well I suppose, given that it is morning, we should be getting up." Jack said. "Busy day and all."   
  
Will felt movement on the bed behind him, and quickly stood, again avoiding unnecessary contact with the pirate. He thought he heard a frustrated sigh from behind him, but dismissed it as nothing but his imagination. Far more quickly than he had undressed the previous night, Will pulled on his clothes, and turned around. Just in time to catch Jack in the middle of putting on his own shirt. His mouth feeling suddenly dry, Will hastily turned his head to the side, feeling yet another blush heating his cheeks. He found it almost funny that Jack could make him blush so furiously, when, despite Elizabeth's many efforts (and yes, there had been a fair few, some innocent, some not) the most she had managed was a slight rose tint to his cheeks.  
  
"Busy?" Will asked, continuing to stare at the wall.  
  
"Ah, yes," Jack said slowly. "I forgot to tell you. The ëPearl's fixed up, main reason why I was out last night was that it was the last one I'd be spending with more pleasant company than my crew for a fair while. Won'tget much chance for that out on the sea."  
  
Will felt strangely moved at that - Jack had chosen to forsake his last night in Tortuga in favour of his company. At the same time, though, he was disappointed. Jack was leaving again, and if the last time he had left was any indication, he was leaving without Will. After what Will had been through to get to him again (thanks in a large part to Elizabeth, but that didn't need to be mention) he was certain that he would not be happy to have Jack gone again. Especially as it meant that he would be left alone in Tortuga.  
  
He turned back to face Jack, no longer caring what the pirate's state of dress was. "You're leaving today?" he asked. From how Anamaria had been talking the previous day, he had expected that Jack would be in Tortuga for a fair while longer, and had not bothered to entertain thoughts of what he would do if he wasn't there.  
  
"Aye." Jack said, sidling past Will so that he could reach his hat and "affects" that were sitting in a corner of the room. "Can't stay in one place too long. Don't wanna get complacent, you see. ëS a bad trait in pirate."  
  
"I see." Will said slowly, still trying to work out what he would do in Tortuga once Jack was gone. Perhaps he could find himself a position as a blacksmith?  
  
"Well that's good then." Jack said, making the finishing touches on his appearnace and heading for the door. He paused at it, spinning around with a flourish to face Will, as if a sudden thought had just occurred to him. "Seeing as your bonnie lass has gone and pushed you away, so to speak, your welcome to join us if you so wish. But only," he warned, face almost comically serious. "if you promise not to do anything stupid this time, savvy?"  
  
Then, before Will had a chance to reply, he was out the door, leaving Will with no choice other than to hurry after him, not about to give up his chance to sail under Captain Jack Sparrow once again.  
  
~  
  
Author's not type thing: And there we have chapter two, folks, and it's only been two days since the first one. O.o. Unfortunately (at least as far as quick updates are concerned) I'm headed off to Japan on Wednesday for two weeks, and won't be able to update this until I get back. I will try and get chapter three up before then, but given that I've got less than three days left and I've still got to finish packing and go to school, I'm not promising to get it up. I do, however, promise to write lots while I'm over there, so I should be able to get several chapters up within quick succesion when I get back.  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewd the last chapter - getting home and finding lots of emails from "bot@fanfiction.com" had me bouncing around very happily (something I thought impossible after having to get up at five in the morning - yuck).  
  
Review again and I shall be even happier!  
  
Hmm...long note...sorry... 


	3. Does it really matter?

Chapter Three - Does it really matter?  
  
Mood swings. That was what his odd feelings were, nothing but mood swings. It was the only explanation for the feelings that Will had found himself experiencing when around Jack, and it was one that satisfied his need to stay loyal to Elizabeth, even when she wasn't particularly loyal to him. Mood swings were fine, because they were flexible, and allowed him to still love Elizabeth, and to reconcile that with his newly found feelings for Jack.  
  
They also explained the jealousy that had burned him as he had watched Jack farewell his various female "friends" before they left Tortuga. Mood swings certainly weren't uncommon amongst people - Elizabeth certainly had them - and after being pushed off a wall by one's fiance, they seemed entirely justified.  
  
Mood swings were why, later on that day when the 'Pearl was attacked, Will found himself thinking of Jack's safety over his own, even when he knew that the pirate captain was far better at taking care of himself than Will was, and why, when the man Jack was fighting got in a good blow and sliced Jack's left arm open, Will put his three hours of practise a day to good use, and attacked with fury tha- t he had only previously felt for Barbossa and his crew and, strangely enough, Jack. It was the way that he had fought when Barbossa's crew had attacked the 'Pearl and Elizabeth had been in danger, only it was more furious, even more personal than it had been then.  
  
By the time the fight was over, and their opponents - a pirating ship foolishly out to try and make a good name for themselves by besting the feared Black Pearl and it's captain - defeated, Will was close to exhausted. It was all very well, he had found when fighting Jack for the first time, to practise for three hours a day by oneself, but when it came to facing off against an armed opponent, things were a lot more difficult. Only adrenaline, and that strange protective urge he had felt when Jack was hurt, kept him on his feet during the fight, and then after, when it came time to patch up the members of the crew who had been injured.  
  
Jack was one of the more seriously injured - his left arm bleeding profusely, although one wouldn't have known that he was hurt by the way he fought - and whilst Will wanted to be the one to tend to his friend, he left him to the more experienced Gibbs, and set off to help those with lesser injuries.  
  
By the time the last injured member of the Black Pearl had been patched up, and Will was ready to head off into a corner of the boat and simply sleep, he realised that Jack had up and disappeared somewhere. Despite the calls of his body, which was telling him to go and find that corner, Will set off for the Captain's cabin, knowing that he would find Jack there, mostlikely drinking his fill of the rum that he had stowed on board the ship. Pushing open the door, he found that his assumption had been correct, and that Jack was indeed, sitting in his cabin drinking rum.  
  
A dirty white bandage was wrapped around his left arm, which he held carefully as if moving it would cause him unwanted pain - not unlikely, given what Will had seen of the wound - and he appeared to be drinking down the rum like a parched man would water. He looked far more tired than Will had ever seen him look before, a bone-deep weariness in his eyes that looked almost like despair.  
  
When he noticed Will, he motioned him into the room with the hand holding the rum, splashing drops of it on the floor of the cabin.  
  
"'M getting old, whelp," he said once Will had settled himself comfortably on Jack's bed - the only available place to sit in the room. "that man shouldn' have got me so bad, but he did. Blow to m' pride, tha' was. Makes me think I'm getting too old for this whole pirate business." He sighed, staring at the wall. "Mind you," he said thoughtfully, when Will, who was shocked at what Jack had said, didn't reply. "I think tha's just the rum talking." He looked at the bottle in his hand, a lost expression in his eyes. "Makin' m' head do funny things, what with this bleedin' cut on my arm too."  
  
Will offerred a weak laugh, more for his own sake than Jack's - he didn't want to think about Jack being too old for pirating, he knew it was the other man's life - and nodded. "Rum'll do that." he muttered half-heartedly.  
  
Jack seemed to brighten marginally at that, and stood, swaggering over to Will and sitting himself down on the bed beside him. "So what brings you here, William?"  
  
Will shrugged. He couldn't very well tell Jack that he had come because he was worried about to him - the pirate certainly wouldn't take to that well - but nor was he willing to tell him that he had simply wanted to be in his company. "Nothing else to do." he said finally, the only thing he could think of to say that wouldn't incriminate him in some way.  
  
"There's always something to do on a ship." Jack told him sagely, shaking the rum bottle at him. "But don' worry, I don' mind havin' you here."  
  
He looked utterly sincere, and Will couldn't help but wonder how much he should read into that statement. He decided that Jack Sparrow was confusion embodied - all subtle hints and suggestive glances that Will didn't know how to take. It was all strangely enticing, an air that lured Will to him, tainted, but somehow far more to him than Elizabeth could ever hope to be.  
  
He didn't mind having to spend time alone with Jack - far from it - but he found himself at a loss for words, and for what he should do. Jack was no help either, he simply sat there, watching Will through half-lidded eyes.  
  
Suddenly Jack seemed too far away, despite the fact that the distance between them was barely there, and Will found himself leaning towards him. Jack stopped him with a hand placed squarely on the middle of his chest, fingers splayed out over his heart, and Will experienced that same rush that he had felt when Jack had been running his hands down his chest mere days ago. This time though, there was warning mixed with what Will now recognized to be desire in Jack's eyes.  
  
"It's not going to mean anything, Will." Jack said softly, gently. "Nothing."  
  
"What?" Will asked, not understanding what Jack was trying to say.  
  
"If you decide that you want to go any further than what you have already, you need to know that it won't mean anything to me." Jack replied, idly tapping his fingers against Will's chest. "I'm not your bonnie lass, and I'm not about to start spouting declarations of my undying love for you. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and I'm not settling down with anyone. No one's gonna make an honest man out of me. Know that."  
  
It didn't matter, Will thought, didn't matter. Once would be enough to satisfy him, and then he could go back to Elizabeth, and forget all about Jack Sparrow and the sea that he ruled. It was merely closure, a means to getting Jack out of his head and his thoughts back to the woman he had proposed to.  
  
"It doesn't matter." Will replied with certainty, and then Jack's lips were on his and all he could do was feel. Feel Jack's roughened hands as they moved over his body, gentle one moment, rough the next. Feel Jack's breath mingling with his own, tasting of rum and the sea. Feel Jack's lips on his own - they were chapped, roughened from years with ocean winds blowing over them - and the shivers that their touch sent through him, and the desire that Jack's tongue expertly exploring his mouth made him feel. Jack was far more *real* than Elizabeth had been, beautiful, porcelain-like Elizabeth paled in comparison to Jack and his touch of reality. He was so much more than Elizabeth, meant so much more, and suddenly Will pulled back, heart racing and body aching to feel more of Jack's touch on his skin. Longing for both he and Jack to be rid of troublesome clothes, and to feel the play of naked skin upon naked skin, and the sensations that would be created, and...  
  
"It *does* matter." Will said sadly, voice husky, full of desire and pain. "It matters, and I can't do this."  
  
He stood, determined to get as far away from Jack as possible before he gave into the urges that he was feeling and forgot to care that it mattered. Jack collapsed back onto his bed, eyes closed - beautiful - and lips pursed together - controlled. Will was certain that Jack wasn't going to say anything to him, but as he left, he caught a faint echo of his own words coming from Jack's lips, and didn't know what to make of them.  
  
"It does matter."  
  
~  
  
A/N: And chapter three is up! Yay! I have been unable to login for the past two days and i have no idea why, anyone else had this problem?  
  
Thanks to all the people who told me to have a good time in Japan - it was great, and I desperately want to go back again.  
  
Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, please review... 


	4. Web of delusions

****

Chapter Four - Web of Delusions

It was dark when Will stumbled out of Jack's cabin, confused, desire-filled and a little unsteady on his feet. He made it to the railing of the ship without incident and collapsed against it, breathing heavily. He had wanted that, he knew, wanted Jack in all his unrivalled, insane glory, and yet he had backed out. He had done so after realising that whatever he did with Jack would matter, and that he would be unable to keep it from meaning something to him. His intention had been to get out before he was in too far, before he reached a point he couldn't possibly back away from, but now, as he let the cool ocean breeze caress his face, he realised that it had already been to late. Jack had already gotten to him, far more than he had intended to let the pirate do, and he there was no erasing that from his mind. The memory of *that* kiss was still fresh in his mind, tantalising, taunting him, feeling him with longing and the urge to go back to Jack's cabin and everything else be damned.

It wasn't long before he heard Jack come outside, a muffled curse as the pirate hit something alerting him to his presence. He could feel Jack's eyes on him, burning into his back, and wondered what the pirate was thinking, wishing that he could turn around and see what was in his eyes, but knowing that if he did he would be lost. 

By the time Jack finally moved, Will felt as if the pirate had been staring at him for an age, and his hands were clenched roughly around the rail. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jack move to the wheel, and rest his hands lightly on it He heard Jack muttering to himself, and felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips. Maybe just for the moment he could pretend that the gentle words Jack spoke to his beloved ship were meant for his ears instead. He'd spin himself a web of delusions, and pretend, just for the moment, that he lived in the same distorted reality as Jack Sparrow, forever by the pirate's side.

~*~

Half way through the next day Will realised that he missed Elizabeth. Not in a 'I'm stuck in the middle of the sea and haven't seen the one that I love for days way', but more in the way he would miss a close friend, or a sister. He wanted her with him to tell him what to do, because he was certain that she would know. He didn't feel the need to make her his life any more, nor did he see any particular call to having her in his bed, he simply wanted her to be with him as a friend. He needed someone he could talk to, someone who could help him sort out the confusing mess in his head, and he didn't think that he was about to get any help from Captain Jack Sparrow on that front. The pirate was far from helpful, or even easy to understand, and he would most likely be the last person that Will would look to for help in this matter. Not that he was about to turn to anyone in the crew either.

It would, he thought, be a lot easier if he could have it all written down somewhere, in simple terms so that he would be sure to understand. That way there would be none of this insecure fumbling, or the confusion that seemed to be settling in for a permanent ride. It wasn't going to happen though, and he knew that he would be forced to muddle through things on his own, even if he did not want to.

By the time night fell, the sky a sparkling blanket of stars, Will had still made no decisions as to what he would do about Jack, and was sitting alone on the deck, feeling almost as if he were the only man left in the world. The stars above him made him feel lonely, sparking a romantic wish inside him to share them with someone. But Elizabeth was in Port Royal – perhaps she was gazing up at the same stars, with someone by her side. Norrington, maybe? – and Jack...Jack was at the other end of the Black Pearl, holding the wheel with the tender grip one would normally reserve for a lover, and staring out at the horizon, singing under his breath. Jack was never alone when he had his ship, and Will, doubting that he would need company, let alone appreciate it, lay back and let his eyes drink their fill of the stars.

"Boy!" He didn't register Jack speaking, let alone that he was directing it at him, until the pirate yelled again, this time his name. "Will!"

Sitting, and looking over at Jack, he saw the pirate resting lazily against the wheel of the ship, looking in his direction. 

"What?" He yelled back, not moving any further.

"Get over here." Jack replied, and Will saw a flash of gold as he smiled at him, danger and seduction and a strange beauty all in that one small smile.

He shook his head slightly to himself, but stood anyway, and made his way over to Jack, knowing that there would be no point in arguing with the captain of the Black Pearl. His captain. He wouldn't last long aboard the 'Pearl if he decided to ignore Jack's orders. Not that there was any real reason for him to avoid going over there, but he still didn't feel like facing Jack after the events of the previous night.

"You wanted me?" Will said when he arrived beside Jack, doing his best not to look the pirate in the eyes.

"Why yes I did." Jack replied, a knowing look in his eyes and a satisfied smirk on his lips. "As your captain, I order you to cease in your sulking. 'S not good for crew morale."

Will raised an eyebrow. "Sulking?"

"Yes, young Mr Turner, sulking." Jack said. "Laying over there with that sullen expression on your face, as if the world has done you a great disservice. Quite irritating actually."

Will's eyebrow remained raised, and he regarded Jack solemnly, trying not to let his rising amusement show on his face. "Is that so?" He replied, deciding to allow a small smile to form on his lips. "I will do my best to stop."

Jack nodded, smirk growing. "Good then," he said happily, and took a drink from a bottle of rum that Will hadn't realised he was holding. "I shall let you go back to...whatever it is that you were doing. No more sulking though."

Will shook his head, smiling. No, he could see no reason to sulk. He was aboard the Black Pearl, having a conversation with Jack that seemed to mean absolutely nothing, and he felt happier than he had in a long time. It was, for lack of a better word, nice, and he decided that perhaps this was the cause of what he had been feeling lately. Not mood swings, but the way Jack smiled at him, like he meant it, showing rows of uneven teeth, some gold, and looking as if he was actually enjoying Will's company. It had nothing to do with strange hormones, and everything to do with the way Jack looked with the moonlit sea as his backdrop. It was the way Jack looked as if he truly *belonged* where he was, and the thought that perhaps Will, if he wanted, could belong there too. 

He liked it, and with one last, almost too happy grin, he bed farewell to his captain, and left to seek out his bed, not worried about the dreams that he knew would accompany sleep, the ones which he had been so sure that he shouldn't have been having, but now knew better. 

~*~

He dreamed of the events of the previous night, when he and Jack had been alone in the captain's cabin, but with small differences interspersed with what Will remembered as actually happening.

He still felt almost unbearably nervous, still didn't know what to say to Jack to break the silence that was between them, but this time when he leant forward, Jack didn't rest his hand on his chest, and he didn't tell him that what was happening wasn't going to matter to him. He simply leant forward, and when he met Will in the middle, his lips on Will's felt like burning fire. They kissed again, fiercely and with a passion that would have frightened Will had it not been a dream, and then Jack pulled him back down onto the bed with an almost foreign tenderness, and they did much, much more.

They lay together afterwards, entwined completely, and Jack whispered words that meant more to Will then life itself. Will answered him with tender words of his own, and realised that they were far truer when spoken to Jack, than to Elizabeth.

When Will woke the next morning, he felt tired, unsatisfied, and far more alone than ever before. And the knowledge that all he was doing was spinning an even larger web of delusions cut into him like a knife.

~

A/N: Sorry! My chapters are turning out kind of short lately. This one was written at school though, so perhaps that's the problem. Hope you liked it anyway, and please review.

Thanks heaps to everyone who already has reviewed. Luv ya all.


	5. Giving In

Chapter Five: Giving In.  
  
~  
  
It was, Will decided as he walked across the ship's deck to his destination, a beautiful night. It was a night that deserved to be spent staring up at the stars, marveling at their beauty, not heading for a confrontation that he felt he needed, but didn't particularly want.  
  
He knocked once on the door of Jack's cabin, trying to ignore the wave of nervousness that hit him when Jack immediately called for him to come inside. After the dream that he had the previous night, he felt that he owed it to himself, and to Jack, to do something about what he felt. He needed, even if Jack didn't seem to, a more solid resolve to what had happened two nights ago. He couldn't function properly with his thoughts always turning to Jack, and that one, burning kiss that they had shared.  
  
His hand hesitated a moment longer on the cabin door, but he shook it off, and quickly pushed the door open before he could lose his resolve.  
  
Jack was laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. A quick look around the cabin showed that his ever present bottle of rum was on the other side of the room - out of Jack's reach - and appeared to be untouched. Will couldn't help but wonder what that meant.  
  
Jack half sat as he entered the room, leaning back on his elbows to regard Will through half-lidded eyes. His mouth was set in a thin line, expression almost puzzled.  
  
"Didn't think you'd be back in here so soon." Jack said slowly, not giving Will the chance to speak first. A good thing, Will supposed, because he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say.  
  
Will shrugged, realising that even though jack had spoken first, he was still unsure of what to say to him. "I needed -" He stopped, unsure of what exactly it was that he needed.  
  
"Needed what?" Jack asked him, voice full of honesty curiosity, although there a harsh edge to it, and something dark that Will couldn't quite identify lingered in his eyes.  
  
His next words hit far too close to what Will had been thinking of when he had made his way to the Captain's cabin, and he found himself flinching.  
  
"Closure?" An expansive shrug, and a suggestive look from Jack that sent shivers of desire racing down Will's spine. "What do you want, Will?" Exasperation. "I can't read your mind, and I don't want to spend all night trying to figure you out. Speak."  
  
Will felt helpless, lost without any form of guidance to be had, and he tried to convey some of that with his eyes to Jack, hoping that the pirate would understand him somehow. When Jack's expression didn't change, he resigned himself to trying to explain exactly what it was that he wanted to Jack, and to himself. He doubted that it would be an easy task.  
  
Jack was watching him expectantly, and Will cleared his throat, trying to work out what he was going to say. What came out was far from what he had expected.  
  
"I want -" He paused again, still trying to sort out his muddled thoughts. "I want to finish what we started the other night."  
  
He had to conciously prevent himself from raising a hand to his mouth, as if to prevent any more words from escaping, and was sure that he was blushing, at least slightly. He didn't know why he had said that, but looking back on his words, he found them to be true. The look in Jack's eyes - desire, longing, and *something* else - helped that realization along.  
  
"Do you now?" Jack asked, voice heavy. He sat up fully, leaning his chin forward onto his hand. "And what might that have been?"  
  
A low growl of frustration escaped Will. Jack knew how uncomfortable the conversation was making him, he had to, and yet he was purposefully drawing it out, set on making Will say something that he wasn't sure he could.  
  
He took a shaky step towards Jack's bed, and then another, not entirely sure of what he was doing, but knowing beyond a doubt that he need to. One more step, and he was there, standing in front of Jack uncertainly.  
  
The pirate simply watched him, making no move towards Will, nor saying anything. It seemed as if what happened next would be entirely up to Will.  
  
Before he could lose his resolve, Will bent down, tentatively touching his lips to Jack's. The kiss wasn't as desperate as their first had been. This time Will was painfully aware of what he was doing, and afraid that Jack would say something to send him away, yet at the same time wishing that he would.  
  
As Jack began to kiss back, no restraint evident in the movement of his mouth against Will's, or the way that his hands tightened possessively against Will's back as he reached up and pulled him down onto the bed beside him, Will could feel all coherent thought slipping from his mind.  
  
He wanted to care that what they were doing would mean nothing to Jack when morning came, but couldn't bring himself to. It meant something to him, and it felt *right* and for the moment that was all that mattered. That and the feel of Jack's lips on his, and the pirates hands as they made their way over his body.  
  
His last thought before he allowed desire to take over his mind, was that there would be no stopping this time.  
  
The feel of Jack moving against him was like fire, and Will knew beyond a doubt that he would never be able to get enough. Meaning had little matter anymore, whether what they were doing would mean anything in the morning had no bearing on their current situation.  
  
He could pretend, just for this night, that Jack's touch really did mean something more, and that was enough for now.  
  
~  
  
Author's really apologetic notes: Today it'll be exactly three months since I've posted, and all I can say is I'm so SORRY! My computer killed most of my in progress fics, as well as my word processing documents, so for a while I couldn't write anything, and then wonder upon wonders, when I finally did write this chapter, my internet decided that no, it couldn't connected to fanfiction.net. Stupid idiotic computer.   
  
So now I"m using my dad's computer and it's letting me update! *hugs and kisses computer*  
  
Thanks *heaps* to everyone who reviewed, you're all brilliant, and I'm truly sorry about the wait between chapters. 


	6. The Morning After

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Chapter Six The Morning After

Will was surprised, when he woke the next morning, to find Jack pressed up against his back, one arm laying limply across his chest. He hadn't expected the pirate to stay with him the whole night, although he supposed that it was only logical since it was Jack's bed they had finally fallen asleep in. Waking upside someone, however, seemed far too like some form of commitment for him to readily associate it with Jack.

He had dreamt of waking up beside Elizabeth, long before he had met Jack, and then he had believed the action meant love, on both their behalves. Apparently it didn't, though, because as much as it pained him, he knew that Jack didn't love him that way, and likely never would.

That didn't mean that it didn't feel good.

He smiled slightly, contentment settling into his bones, and closed his eyes. He wanted to prolong the moment for as long as he could.

The next time he woke, he could feel warm breath on his ear, and the arm on his chest had tightened its hold, feeling almost possessive in its grip. His smile widened, and he shifted against Jack, enjoying the faint hitch in the pirate's breath as he did so.

"'Morning," he whispered softly, not wanting to disrupt the almost idyllic mood that he had settled into.

"'Morning," Jack replied, voice still husky with sleep. He tugged gently on Will's arm, and Will rolled himself over so that they were facing.

Jack was wearing a sleepy, but sated smile, and his hair, usually groomed to at least presentable standards, was a mess of tangles around his head. An amused grin threatened to break out on Will's face at the sight, but was interrupted when Jack, breath hot against Will's face, leaned in and kissed him.

Will couldn't think of a more perfect way to be greeted in the morning.

Jack pulled back fairly quickly, though, a faintly regretful look on his face. "Duty calls, young William," Jack said, and Will barely repressed a flinch at Jack's use of the word young when talking about him. After the previous night, it seemed wrong somehow.

Will inclined his head in a slight nod, and Jack swung himself off the bed, dressing almost as if he were in a hurry. He left the room without another word.

Will spent several minutes simply staring at the door Jack had left through, his heart pounding strangely fast. He felt tired suddenly, and allowed himself to fall backwards, staring up at the ceiling blankly.

The previous night had been wonderful, he supposed, but now that it was morning, and he was alone with nothing but his thoughts for company, he couldn't keep himself from dwelling on what would happen next.

Last night had meant very little to Jack, Will knew that without being told, and from what he had heard, meaningless sex never went very far. He would be lucky if he lasted even a few days with Jack, before the pirate tired of him and began to look for someone more to his liking. It wasn't something that Will would ever want, but nor was it something that he could do anything about.

Jack was simply Jack. A pirate, albeit a handsome one that Will was quite certain he was falling in love with, who cared for nothing more than his ship, and his freedom. It was who Jack was, and Will wasn't about to do anything to change that, even if doing so would benefit him. He couldn't. Jack meant far too much for him to do so.

He didn't want this. Didn't want to feel this way when he was given nothing in return. Didn't want to mean nothing to Jack, when the pirate meant so much more to him. Didn't want the gnawing feeling inside him that was busy telling him that what he felt was his own fault, that he'd gotten what he'd asked for, and that nothing else would ever compare.

He closed his eyes, burying his face in the pillow that smelt so strongly of Jack, and wished, not for the first time, that he was somewhere else.

He was woken once more, this time by Jack shaking his shoulder roughly and repeating his name several times over.

When he opened his eyes, he found Jack's face inches from his own, looking down at him with an expression of frustration.

When he seemed certain that Will was awake, Jack pulled away, sitting down on the bed beside Will and threading his fingers together, expression suddenly thoughtful.

"Will," he said, voice so serious that Will found himself dreading what he was going to say. "We need to talk."

****

A/N: Once again, I'm **so** sorry for the amazingly long time between updates. .:blushes:. Real life intruded, once more, this time in the form of ridiculous amounts of schoolwork and assignments. Damn Year 12 – only 15 weeks to go.

I don't like this chapter as much of the others, doesn't seem to flow quite right, and that's probably because it's been so long since I last updated. Incentive to get the next chapter done quicker, I guess.

Hope you enjoyed it though.


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